I feel shy to admit to you that I was aroused by the book. While my colleagues and friends were saying that the the writing was terrible, I was too busy being titillated to notice. What did penetrate my consciousness as I breezed through the pages was that Christian Grey stalked his dear Anastasia at one point. There’s nothing hot for me about that. Hells no.

What aided my enjoyment of the book was my awareness that it’s a soft porn fantasy. Because I have experience in the BDSM scene, it’s easy for me to distinguish between make-up silliness and reality. I have my head on straight about this world.

My biggest concern about the book and the phenomenon that is about to be the movie premier tonight, is that women and men with no experience with BDSM may feel turned on by parts of what they see and want to go home and get started.

Please wait a moment, my sexy friends!

I need you to do a little bit of research before you snap handcuffs onto your lover. (Handcuffs, by the way, are not typically used in the BDSM community because they are so unforgiving. If you fall over with them on, you could break a wrist. There’s no fun in that!)

As it turns out, I’ve shortened your learning curve. I’ve put together a free three lesson series for women: 3 Dangerous Blunders Women Curious About S&M Make (and How to Avoid Them). It’s chock full of useful resources, tools, concepts and information. Gentlemen – you are welcome to grab it, too!

I’m also offering a class in Los Angeles on March 7th – S&M: A Gentle Introduction.

You’re welcome! Now go check out the movie without shame if it’s calling to you. I’ll do the same and report back my findings. Enjoy and Happy Valentine’s Day.

Click the photo to listen to my pre-screening interview with T&A