This video is part of a series about an event called Cuddle Sanctuary. Cuddle Sanctuary is a three-hour experience. It begins with a short workshop and finishes with a long stretch of relaxing hang-out time. The star of the show is safe, consensual touch. Cuddle Sanctuary is a Rated G event – so it doesn’t include sexual touch. The kinds of touch that are welcome include hugging, holding, spooning, caressing (the face, back or arms), foot rubs, shoulder massages – there’s plenty of options!
If you’re new to Cuddle Sanctuary – you might wonder, what are the rules of this thing? Here are a few really important ones:
Always ask for permission before touching somebody. If someone makes a touch request of you, here are three potential responses:
Yes
Let’s say somebody asks you for a hug or says “May I spoon with you?” If you feel like saying “yes,” say it! And enjoy the experience.
No
If you don’t feel like having that experience with that person, you can simply say “no” or “no thank you.” You don’t need to analyze yourself deeply or judge yourself for wanting to say “no.” You have every right to feel a “no” and say it. You could always be kind and gentle and thank them for asking.
Maybe
If you’re not sure how you feel, let’s call that a “maybe.” And if you’re a “maybe,” consider that a “no thank you.”
It can be really difficult for me to be honest if for whatever reason I don’t want to be touched. Since I was a kid I was always told to hug or kiss whatever older relative was visiting. I was never told I had a choice in the matter. (And it was pretty gross.) So I never learned the truth – that I can choose who is allowed to touch me and when. Cuddle Sanctuary is a great place to practice and strengthen these boundaries.
Feel Free to Change Your Mind
You are free to change your mind about any activity with any person at any time. You can simply say, “thanks I’m done now!” Or “thanks, I feel full.” Or just, “I’m going to do something else now – bye!”
Changing our minds creates a lot of freedom and can generate a lot of fun.
Here’s where you can find us: Facebook and Meetup.com.
Happy cuddling!