“…singles can very easily confuse their need for love with their need for sex, making choices they may later regret.”
I read the above quote in a blog by Andre Traversa this morning and had to admit: Yeah, that’s me. In my solo show, I’ve come out as kinky. That is a fact of who I am. But I also need to come out as touch deprived and hug starved. I sometimes think of myself is a baby monkey – so hungry to be held.
But I’m not unique at all. Here’s a quote from the Cuddle Party website which says it all:
We humans need touch and affection: It’s no longer a question. Nurturing, welcome consensual touch is good for you. Good for your body, heart and spirit. Good for your blood pressure, your nervous system, your emotional health, your ability to connect with and trust people, your ability to respect and care for yourself, your creativity, sense of safety and comfort and belonging. Infants who are deprived of touch fail to thrive; we never outgrow the need.
We live in a funny culture of cubicles, apartments and cars where hugging and human touch is limited to very specific situations. As a single person, it can feel that the quickest solution (because asking for a hug especially when I need one so badly is so goddamn vulnerable) is to go the sexual route. Hooking up in hopes of getting some cuddling after.
This pattern hurts my heart.
So what am I going to do about it? Start a Cuddle Puddle Meet Up in Los Angeles. That’s a big, scary deal for me. Details to follow.