I met a fellow at a “munch.” A “munch” is a get together for kinky people. It’s often at a public place and looks no different than any other group sipping coffee and talking. Anyway, this munch was specifically for dominant women and submissive men. An attractive man, let’s call him, Kirk, shared with the group that he was new to all of this and lived near me. In my mind that meant Kirk was vulnerable, yummy and convenient. I made his acquaintance.
Besides the kinky stuff, I love learning about people’s lives. Kirk turned out to be a young doctor. I liked him. I enjoyed hearing about the interesting cases he had at work and what he was learning. He was also liked to snuggle in bed. He said he liked for me to be the “big spoon.” I found that adorable and was happy to oblige.
Kirk was also germ-o-phobic. I’ve never been with someone who was as afraid of germs as he. It took a while for me to get used to his many boundaries. He wouldn’t take a bath with me. He was unwilling to kiss. The emotions this brought up were painful – I felt rejected. Kirk and I talked about it like two adults. There was a lot of respect and kindness there.
After thinking it through, I decided that Kirk was in my life to teach me about safer sex. I had heard of dental dams and what they do, but had never actually used one. With Kirk’s boundaries firmly in place, I became willing to try. What I learned is that sex can be just as hot with more protection. I have Kirk to thank for that lesson and am here to carry the message. Here’s a great video by the incomparable SexNerdSandra to inspire us all to be safe out there.