When I saw Fei’s post, I knew I had to share it with you. Fei is a proponent of unconditional love and a beautiful, sensitive soul. With her permission, I share this with you:
I haven’t shared much about my work as a cuddle facilitator here, but I consistently have such important experiences, I’m feeling the need to write and share about them in an open and honest way.
I’ve had a really busy few weeks, and found the stress mounting, leading me to be really overwhelmed and stressed out. Because of that, I had some apprehension leading up to facilitating the cuddle workshop tonight.
It’s work that involves me being in a space to give in an open-hearted sort of way, which can be very easy when I’m centered, but more challenging when I’m not. This week I’ve been in need of care myself and struggling with finding those expansive feelings of charity and unbounded love for others. I was worried that my care would be needed tonight, and that I wouldn’t be able to tap into that pure love, that “charity seeketh not her own” type of giving. Could I really open myself up to connect to everyone, even the “strangers” and those whose company I usually might not seek out in other circumstances?
I spent a lot of energy trying to take care of myself and to reconnect and re-ground so I could be what the event needed and deserved, but I was still a little wound up and worried when I arrived.
From here, it seems silly, really, that I ever felt that way. One of the biggest lessons Cuddle Sanctuary has taught me is how to receive love and care – from *anyone*. Today, whilst holding the space, I was reached out to and cared for over and over. Where I arrived to work weary and worn, I left floating, feeling transcendent, filled with gratitude and overflowing love for everyone in the room and the world. (Thanks, oxytocin!)
In both attending and facilitating cuddle events, I have learned that if we allow ourselves to open up to it, care can come in every shape and size. Time and time again, I am surprised at who care can come from – often, the ones I consider to be the most in need of care from me, the most awkward perhaps, maybe the most hungry, or needy, have been the ones who have nourished me. It’s incredibly humbling and powerful.
In those moments, I feel an immense trust in the universe – in God. I understand that I matter, that my needs are seen, and if I open my eyes and my heart, I will be more than provided for.